I moved to San Francisco years ago because my life was falling apart. I left my job, my home and my marriage because, well, because I needed to. None of it was working and I was totally unhappy. So, what the heck, let's do a geographic. Anyone who has ever done a 12 Step Program knows all about these moves. You pick up, move somewhere else and hope, or delude yourself, that something new will happen. What inevitably happens is that you just take your same old stuff along with you to the next location. And then you have to deal with it, or not.
Of course I didn't know this at the time. So I just continued on my way, doing what I knew to do. On top of that, I wasn't the kind of person who asked for help. I honestly didn't even think about it. After all, I was too strong and capable for that, I told myself over and over again. Besides, I'd asked for help before and didn't get it, so what would the point be? I'd only be let down, disappointed or even betrayed again.
So I marched on. Some things changed for sure and I was proud of that. But I found that I was still not as happy as I wanted to be. I was still picking fixer-upper friends, just like I had before, as if I knew how to "fix them up." I still did work that wasn't very satisfying. So, while I lived in San Francisco instead of Phoenix (which was a move in the right direction), I knew that life held so much more for me. All I had to do was figure out how find it.
Fortunately for me, I met some really great people. Folks like me who had some troubles but were getting help with these issues. They didn't tell me what to do, but knowing that they were seeking help was interesting to me. They were good, intelligent, strong, kind folks. Somehow I had associated getting help with being weak or wrong. I didn't know that most people need help once in a while and that seeking professional help could be a huge benefit to me.
Finding the right therapist was the best thing I could have done for myself. She helped me see things from a different perspective. She helped me understand myself and my proclivities. I learned so much from her that I never would have learned without asking for help.
So if you feel unhappy or stuck, try to ask someone for help. It could be a friend, a family member, a minister, a coach or a therapist. My wish for you is that you know that you don't have to figure it out all by yourself and that there is good help out there just for you.