Unconscious Complaining

I have always prided myself on being an upbeat, positive person. My friends and clients love that about me. I love that about me. I learned from my father to look at the cup as half full instead of half empty. This has been a very good strategy for me for most of my life. Lately, however, it's been a little harder to maintain that perspective. I have some dreams that haven't come true yet and some troubles that I thought I would avoid. I started telling myself I was too old for this, that things weren't turning out the way I wanted them to and so on. Needless to say, I began digging a pretty deep hole for myself.

Fortunately I have a friend who saw me doing this to myself. She suggested that we meet every week to support each other to help us align so we can allow our dreams to manifest. After our first meeting we decided that we would not complain for the next week. Now, I never considered myself a complainer. My father also  taught me when someone asked me how I was to say, "Fine," because they didn't want to hear anything else. I took that to heart and for many, many years that was how I answered that question. And it was how I lived my life.

However, with this homework assignment in my face, I realized that I was complaining about not having enough money, about "being too old" for whatever, about not paying attention to my private practice and therefore not getting clients, etc. All of those negative thoughts were clever ways of complaining. It took me a while, but I almost choked when I realized it! But the good news is that I decided to do something about it.

Over the next week as I stopped those thoughts and words, I began to feel a little better. I got some perspective on why people do this and how unconscious it was for me. And, interestingly enough, things started to shift. I was able to go with the flow a little easier, I was able to lighten up, to enjoy life more and at the end of the week got three incredible new clients to work with.

The moral to the story is to really examine how we talk to ourselves and to those closest to us. While I am a fairly conscious person, that old habit of complaining snuck on in without me even knowing it. A loving person would never tell me that I was a loser or too old or anything else like that. And I want to be that loving person who uplifts others. I know part of my work is to do that for myself too. Sometimes it's hard to do this on your own so contact someone you know who can help you stop this habit. Or listen to some uplifting music. Or go pet your dog or cat. There's no reason not to feel good. We just have to figure it out. And we can!